I’m Trusting You

After my dad died I remember a very dear friend of mine talking to me about my wedding. She was doing her best to encourage me and said, “your wedding is still going to be perfect.” I was so upset by that statement, how on earth could my wedding be perfect? That was a literal impossibility. I knew it would be beautiful, I knew it would go smooth and I knew I would be marrying the love of my life… But perfect? No. I did my best to smile and say, “I know”, but really inside I couldn’t disagree more. My reaction took me by surprise, there had been so little time to think about anything that it hadn’t even crossed my mind how “not perfect” I was convinced things would be. In the days following I asked God how she could say that knowing it wasn’t true. I won’t go into all the details now, but through a series of events He spoke and said,”you didn’t know this would happen, but I did. I’ve already stood at your end and have seen your wedding … It’s going to be perfect.” I was knocked over, He was right and so was my friend. From Heaven He had already seen that day and it was all that it could be. I remember the moment on my wedding day when we had done all the getting ready girls could do and it was time to go downstairs to the ceremony. The girl coordinating my day came in and said,”ok, let’s go girls”. I watched them all walk out the door as she said to me, “you too”, in that moment I locked eyes with my mom who could see that the gravity and the reality that my dad wasn’t there had hit me in the face. I couldn’t move, I could hardly breathe. All I could do was say, “mom…”. My mom looked at me smiling and said, ” it’s going to be ok, come on”, as she spoke I felt the peace of that word God had given rush over me. This was already done in Heaven and it was going to be perfect… And you know what? It was. This past Sunday while worshipping the Father was reminding me of this story and reminding me that the biggest miracle in this season with my health was that a tumor which was once there was now gone. There would never be emergency surgery to remove this all but silent invader. I wouldn’t any longer have to worry about what was wrong with me. What was wrong was now gone. He reminded me that I’m in the middle of my recovery but He’s already stood at my end and that it was all part of the story. I can say I never saw this weakness coming and that’s true, but I never saw the tumor either. God did and made a plan and a way for me … He’s seen my end and it is good. Just like then when I thought so many things would never be the “same” and He showed me how things could be more beautiful than I ever could have imagined, I have to trust that this will be no different. So bring on the beauty Lord, I’m trusting you.

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